The Difference Between Us and Cows

It's calving season here on the ranch and it's got me thinking about the differences between having a baby and having a calf. I thought I'd share these thoughts with you so you can be grateful you deliver a baby and not a calf.
DELIVERY:
Cows: on the ground, in the snow, wherever....
Us: in a nice clean hospital (or house if you so choose)

PAINKILLERS:
Cows: not an option
Us: always available

SIZE:
Cows: an average calf weighs about 80lbs
Us: an average baby weighs 7lbs

AFTERBIRTH:
Cows: eat it
Us: the doctors take it away (thank goodness)

CLEANING UP:
Cows: lick their babies clean
Us: nurses take care of that

**Here are a few differences that work in favor of the cow

NURSING:
Us: baby cries to let us know he/she is hungry and then we are responsible for helping them nurse
Cows: calf walks right up to mom and helps himself

POTTY TIME:
Us: constantly changing diapers
Cows: calf goes wherever he/she pleases with no "mom, I need wiped" afterwards

DEVELOPMENT:
Us: takes up to a year or more for baby to learn to walk
Cows: calf starts walking within hours